Careless Bride Schedules Wedding on Anniversary of Tragic Family Car Accident, Can’t Understand Why Her Family Declined To Attend

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Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Feb 25, 2024 12:00 PM EST

Some anniversaries are incredibly innocuous. For instance, two of my best friends started dating on the anniversary of my birth. Now, there will always be a connection between their love story and my 19th birthday, where I spent half the night puking up that Capriccio drink with those little fruit graphics on the bottle. 

That was an example of an anniversary you can't choose. However, there is one type of anniversary you can choose, and that, of course, is your wedding anniversary. Nobody can force you and your fiance to get married on a specific date if you don't want to. My parents chose to get married on July 11th and inextricably tied their love to a gas station. That was their decision, and they're sticking to it. One bride recently decided to stick to a much more tragic date for her wedding. While her mother decided to attend, many other family members have understandably declined. 

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  • 01
    20 r/AmltheAsshole u/Imaginary_Form9887 • 17h AITA telling my daughter she has to understand that choosing this wedding date would result in my family not going?
    via u/Imaginary_Form9887
  • 02
    2 y (ish)* ago, my brother, my nephew and my mother were in a car accident. My mother died instantly, my brother and nephew passed away the next day. My family was small, me, my husband, daughter, parents, brother, wife and 2 nephewsv (edited). Their loss was devastating for my life and for everyone, even worse for my father and my SIL.
    via u/Imaginary_Form9887
  • 03
    1 year ago, my daughter, Betty (25F) was proposed by her fiancé and preparations began. During this process, they chose the date based on the day they met (added:7y ago) and that day is exactly 2 years since the death of my brother and nephew. I tried to talk to her about moving, because it is still a very difficult date for our family and even for myself, but she insisted saying that the venue had that date available and it would be perfect, because all the other available dates aren't so good
    via u/Imaginary_Form9887
  • 04
    Recently, she sent the invitations to everyone and, as I predicted, my SIL, my nephew (24M) and my father responded that they would not attend and despite not telling her, my father and SIL told me that the date choice was sound an offense to them. I decided to remain neutral at some point, I confirmed my presence and my husband.
    via u/Imaginary_Form9887
  • 05
    Today my daughter called me unhappy that no one but us confirmed (my husband doesn't have family on his side) and her family part was empty and she expected everyone to go on that date, even more so after she explained the reason to them abou the date, but they still refused.
    via u/Imaginary_Form9887
  • 06
    I tried to be supportive, but I said "Love, this date is difficult even for me, but I will go to your wedding, but you have to understand that this choice of date had this consequence and you would have to deal with the consequences of your choices.
    via u/Imaginary_Form9887
  • 07
    She exploded at me, saying that everyone was against her, it's not her fault the dates coincided and everyone could make an effort to go a few hours for her, but they decided to just not go and I was basically saying "I told you so."
    via u/Imaginary_Form9887
  • 08
    She hung up without me answering and we still haven't spoken. My husband said he understands me, but I should have stayed away from it AITA?
    via u/Imaginary_Form9887
  • 09
    BetweenWeebandOtaku 17h Commander in Cheeks [263] ● NTA. I mean, you told her exactly why this would happen and she didn't listen. I think she was more upset in front of you than at you, if that makes sense. She's venting. But also kinda thoughtless to think that everyone would just swallow their grief to watch her get married on a really painful anniversary. Reply 16.7k
    via u/BetweenWeebandOtaku
  • 10
    mrs-peanut-butter • 16h I'm a bit shocked that the daughter has no pain associated with the date...that was her grandmother, uncle, and cousin, and only two(!!) years ago. Sort of heartless. ... 49.4K
    via u/mrs-peanut-butter
  • 11
    O Sufficient Cup2784 • 16h I'm wondering if it does hurt her and she's trying to change that specific date into something good. Edit: just want to say that yes I understand it would only benefit her and I may be completely wrong. I never said that's what the daughter is doing but trauma affects everyone differently and everyone reacts differently. No one in this sub can 100% know what the daughter is thinking. ... 3.3k
    via u/Sufficient_Cup2784
  • 12
    OneLessDay517 16h Partassipant [1] ● The thing is, no one but her and her husband (and maybe their parents) are gonna remember their wedding date in 5 years. But they will NEVER forget the date they lost their loved ones. ... ✩ 4.7k 4.7k
    via u/OneLessDay517
  • 13
    Ngin3 16h Enthusiast [7] Tbf now they will definitely remember it 1.1k
    via u/Ngin3
  • 14
    JakeDC 15h ● And honestly, she probably looks very cold to lots of people in the family, even if her intentions are to try to attach something positive to the day. 41.4k
    via u/JakeDC
  • 15
    CannabisAttorney 16h Imagine being at that wedding IF the affected family members did come. Everyone would be talking about how strong they are for showing up. All the focus would be on them and the guests who didn't know would be so confused until they learned. I imagine many of them would side with the family members instead of the beloved bride. If she wants to be the focal point of her wedding, them not attending is the best possible outcome if she keeps the date. 540
    via u/CannabisAttorney
  • 16
    fluffticles 17h Partassipant [1] Are there any rifts in the family that you haven't mentioned? I understand that your daughter is young and the date is important to her in a different way but am I reading this correctly? She met her fiancé on the day her grandmother, uncle and cousin died. And yet to her, it's only a happy day and she would like her happiness to trump the sadness of her family, the same family she would like at her wedding. I find myself speechless... Your daughter is a monster
    via u/fluffticles
  • 17
    Imaginary_Form9887 OP 17h No, no, they met 7y ago on the same day/month of their deaths 41.5k ...
    via u/Imaginary_Form9887
  • 18
    Healthy_Meal1485 16h Sure, different years, but still... How is that date not painful for her? Also, uhhh, none of her extended family on your side will EVER be interested in attending a celebration of or even hearing about her anniversary. NTA. 4 1.5k ↓ ...
    via u/Healthy_Meal1485

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family drama anniversary bride marriage Crazy Brides car accidents reddit story car accident wedding family reddit thread Reddit mom weddings
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